life

What they don’t tell you about being an adult

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Let’s talk being an adult

So what’s the hard truths no one tells you about being an adult? Let’s have an open and honest conversation that probably would’ve been great to know so many years ago! This blog post is for all my youngsters who absolutely CANNOT WAIT to be adults! You may want to slow your roll there and take a quick seat so we can get to the real tea of being an adult.

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Hard Truth #1- It Sucks

It sucks! There I said it. I asbolutely hate it here because while there are some great benefits to being an adult but personally I feel that the cons out weigh the pros. Not to worry will get more into that list of cons but first let’s start by talking about unless you are well off or rich all it seems you do is WORK. While there are some people who love to work, I (for sure) am not one of them. That in no way means I don’t enjoy working, I mean I don’t want majority of my adult life to be ALL about working to make a living. There are days where I’ll be so eager to go on an adventure then I realize as an adult I have responsibilities I have to tend to and that said responsibilities will take precedence over a lot of things.

Hard Truth #2- Prioritize resting regularly

We shouldn’t just be working all the time. Resting should be a priority regularly to help avoid burnout. If this pandemic has taught us anything is that our bodies and our minds need breaks. While hustling for money is essential for our way of life you cannot provide for yourself or your family if your body is burnt out. If I could tell my younger self one thing about entering the world of adulthood is take those breaks and go on those adventures if you are able to! Treat yourself regardless if it’s not as a taking a trip to another country or going to another state. If you are not financially able to take a trip find something that is in your budget to do! Go for some ice cream, watch a movie or treat yourself to a book if you enjoy reading.

You deserve to have a life that does not just consist of constantly working.

Hard Truth #3- It’s a never ending cycle

I’ve come to the conclusion that being an adult is this never ending cycle of not always having the right answers, being mentally and emotionally exhausted and just doing the best you can to keep your ahead above water. Being an adult is unquestionably exhausting. You’re constantly making life decisions that can be good or bad and there seems to be a problem in one form or another. In my 5 years (soon to be 6 on Saturday) of being an adult, I’ve learned that it is very draining trying to keep your head together.

Here’s an example; life could be going pretty smooth then BAM! Your car is suddenly acting up, you get hit with an unexpected bill and then it feels like you’re going downhill from there. So now you scramble to find solutions to all these problems. The energy you barely had is all gone now. So what do you do? Well you cry because Fergie lied when she said big girls don’t cry. Then you pull up your adult underwear and deal with your problems.

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Hard Truth #4- Being an adult is HARD

Being an adult doesn’t mean you’ll have all of life answers. Which is exactly what I thought would happen when I became an adult. I thought my life was going to be a breeze and now that I was an adult I was now going to have access to the knowledge of all things concerning life. WHELP! That was a lie! From observing those in my life and having conversations with my close friends I feel even more clueless as an adult than I did being a child.

Life problems are 10 times more magnified than trying to decide who you were going to sit by at lunch. Throw in money and financials and remember all those answers you thought adults had? Yeah, they are nowhere to be found. You contemplate ways to make more money whether it’s being a street pharmacists, a stripper or marrying into the mob. I don’t recommend any of those but for sharing purposes it has crossed minds of young adults at one point or they’ve made a joke about it.

Being an adult is HARD. It takes a lot of you and because this is the way of life we have no choice but to follow the status quo of earning a living and providing for our families. So you try and make the best of what you have.

The struggle is REAL!

Hard truth #5- Marriage is not always going to be the solution

Often times I hear people say “just get married” or “Go to school to find a husband all your problems will be solved”. Or I’d talk with some coworker and they would say “I can’t wait to be married life will be so much easier.” For a little while there I also thought I wanted to be married at 21, start a family and that I’d have my dream career! BOY! Was I a bit delusional! But reality rears her ugly head and we are faced with the truth that marriage is not always going to be a solution to solve all your problems.

Our obsessive nature with thinking that marriage is the answer to our problems is crazy! While having a partner to help you through your problems will be a benefit. Marriage is not all sunshine and roses. Marriage is hard work that you have to consistently work at it. This is a commitment you make with your partner and with God. The commitment of a marriage I personally feel is often overlooked, because of all the pros of being married. We have to understand that there are hardships that come with marriage and also having/raising a family.

Let’s not use marriage as means to and concerning problem solving.Instead let’s create a better system and habits to allow more fun and less stress. As our generation works to break generational curses let’s also commit to helping the younger generations to come. Adulthood is not easy but when we open up conversations to the realities of life we are able to provide the necessary help and guidance for the next generation.

Enjoy your life now!

My dear younger people urge you to enjoy your bill-free life now! I know the excitement of being able to make your own life decisions but once you’re 18 you can’t go back! So while you are still a teenager enjoy this is time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong doing what kids do or worrying about what kids worry about. Life after 18 comes with some heavy responsibilities and some very tough hardships. So please enjoy your childhood and leave being adult alone until you actually have to!

What goals are you working on this year? Check out my plans for 2021 here!

23 year old blogger. Just trying to find my way through this thing called life. Born and raised in Hawai'i.

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