self reflection

Don’t be sorry.

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Do you find yourself constantly apologizing?

Do you feel like you are dimming yourself for the sake of others?

Are you emotionally exhausted of not being able to fully be yourself?

Trust me I’ve been there and I’m so glad I made the decision to not be sorry. For a long time I was a big apologist. I found myself saying sorry because my laugh was too loud. I’d go on tangents about things I was passionate about and say sorry when I felt like I was talking too much. It reached the point where I basically censored myself around people because I felt like I was “too much.”

No one wants to live their life being censored. Or feeling as though they have to walk on egg shells.

In speaking about this phrase: Don’t be sorry. I’m not talking about when you hurt someone. Don’t be sorry, is referring to being yourself wholeheartedly.

Things not to apologize for:

  • Making yourself a priority
  • being you
  • expressing your emotions or feelings
  • setting boundaries
  • doing things that make you happy
  • walking away from situations that no longer suit you
  • standing your ground
  • saying no

If you’ve answered yes to any of the questions or looked at the list above and realized you’ve apologized for any of those things, I’m here to help you see the light!

The day i made the decision to change

Speaking from personal experience I think I was spending more time apologizing for things than I did actually doing things. I was apologizing for things out of my control, for things I didn’t even do and to be honest the list could go on.

One day, I was at work talking with my manager and I recall apologizing for something and he looked me straight in my eye and said “Nessa, stop apologizing. Don’t be sorry.”

I stood in shock by what he said to me. He went on to explain that I apologize for so much. On average the word “Sorry” was coming out of my mouth at least 10 times a day. He then expressed to me that there really was no need for me to apologize for things such as making judgment calls finding ways of still getting my work done but doing it in a way that worked well for me.

Thi defining moment that contributed to the decision of no longer being an apologist . I made the decision to just be me. If those around me love and support me it will be done without conditions.

Don’t water yourself down to fit into spaces that aren’t meant for you. – Nessa

Start today

With that in mind for those of you who are apologist like I was just know you too can make the change. You don’t need to be sorry for being you. You don’t have to apologize for prioritizing and putting yourself first. No one s owed an explanation on how you’re living you life.

My hope is that with today’s blog post, will help you make the necessary changes to embrace who you are with open arms. While change is scary and intimidating, it is an imperative aspect for our personal growth. Why put off starting tomorrow when you can START TODAY.

As you begin your journey you will see your self confidence to grow. Why? You are no longer dimming your light for others around you. People will gravitate towards your light that acts like a beacon. Calling out to all to those who see it. You’ll never know who is in need of your light.

Choose to start today and DON’T BE SORRY.

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23 year old blogger. Just trying to find my way through this thing called life. Born and raised in Hawai'i.

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